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TWI group short story -- just three words at a time
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Thewobblydickle
Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster


Joined: 17 Dec 2004
Posts: 3242
Location: Derby

PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 9:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like
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Grahame Jones



Joined: 30 Apr 2008
Posts: 3430
Location: London

PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 9:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.
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Thewobblydickle
Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster


Joined: 17 Dec 2004
Posts: 3242
Location: Derby

PostPosted: Fri Aug 08, 2008 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung
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Enitharmon



Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 73
Location: Barrow-in-Furness

PostPosted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 4:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier
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Satis



Joined: 31 May 2008
Posts: 685
Location: North London

PostPosted: Sat Aug 09, 2008 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier, awakening the wombat,
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Grahame Jones



Joined: 30 Apr 2008
Posts: 3430
Location: London

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 7:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier, awakening the wombat, which had dangled
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GESSEJ



Joined: 09 Aug 2007
Posts: 3148
Location: Chilliwack, B.C. Canada

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier, awakening the wombat, which had dangled there innocently since
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Grahame Jones



Joined: 30 Apr 2008
Posts: 3430
Location: London

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 7:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in Maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier, awakening the wombat, which had dangled there innocently since the Great Malteser
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Thewobblydickle
Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster


Joined: 17 Dec 2004
Posts: 3242
Location: Derby

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 4:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in Maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier, awakening the wombat, which had dangled there innocently since the Great Malteser exposed his dangly
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Grahame Jones



Joined: 30 Apr 2008
Posts: 3430
Location: London

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 4:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in Maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier, awakening the wombat, which had dangled there innocently since the Great Malteser exposed his dangly Curly Wurly. This
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Thewobblydickle
Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster


Joined: 17 Dec 2004
Posts: 3242
Location: Derby

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 4:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in Maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier, awakening the wombat, which had dangled there innocently since the Great Malteser exposed his dangly Curly Wurly. "This unsavoury behaviour delights
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Satis



Joined: 31 May 2008
Posts: 685
Location: North London

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 5:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in Maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier, awakening the wombat, which had dangled there innocently since the Great Malteser exposed his dangly Curly Wurly. "This unsavoury behaviour delights renegade government ministers,
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Thewobblydickle
Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster


Joined: 17 Dec 2004
Posts: 3242
Location: Derby

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in Maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier, awakening the wombat, which had dangled there innocently since the Great Malteser exposed his dangly Curly Wurly. "This unsavoury behaviour delights renegade government ministers."

Baardlark winked knowingly.
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Satis



Joined: 31 May 2008
Posts: 685
Location: North London

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in Maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier, awakening the wombat, which had dangled there innocently since the Great Malteser exposed his dangly Curly Wurly. "This unsavoury behaviour delights renegade government ministers."

Baardlark winked knowingly. "Only Cliff Richard
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Tapes



Joined: 24 Jun 2008
Posts: 413
Location: Formby

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 6:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apologies are never needed when an aardvark falls in love with a plastic garden gnome. However, medical assistance is often required to separate the rod from the rear orifice of my throbbing, unfortunate Gnome. It's not funny but I have to laugh when the haddock, an awful prig, dresses up in garish attire to attend the Spring launch of the Dancing Lamb affair. Haddock and Aardvark are unlikely soulmates, even though they share a depraved interest in Maltesers, fried in greasy whale blubber. Fortunately, no plot can adequately explain why this should be.

Meanwhile, the asteroid called Pestilent Gorilla, named after Zimbabwe's rejected olympic mascot, hurtled towards Aardvark without a thought of danger or destruction. Baardlark (the Aardvark), was considering a change of underwear, although tinfoil can be costly.

"Incoming!" howled Haddock.

"Outcoming!" grimaced Baardlark.

With a leap that defied gravity, removing his pants and peeling off his long red thong, Gorilla rolled towards the two albino female impersonators firmly clutching Torquemada's creamy Walnut Whip. "Ouch" squealed Torquemada, as the walnut played bad disco. "Nut Rocker" was a past number one hit that had delighted Yugoslavian leader, Tito, when his wife caught Michael Vaughan in flagrante delicto. "Gracious that was a huge surprise," said Baardlark as he deftly massaged the swelling lump on the cricketer's willow sapling, which overhung his 'outcoming' like an MFI credenza.

"Baardlark!" Haddock swung from the chandelier, awakening the wombat, which had dangled there innocently since the Great Malteser exposed his dangly Curly Wurly. "This unsavoury behaviour delights renegade government ministers."

Baardlark winked knowingly. "Only Cliff Richard and certain mystics
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