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Green Silk Journal

 
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Caroline
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 11:18 am    Post subject: Green Silk Journal Reply with quote

The February 2006 issue of Green Silk Journal includes one of my poems - Observatory. I've been too shy to mention it.

http://www.thegreensilkjournal.citymax.com/page/page/2378619.htm

It's no great shakes as a poem so they've tactfully hidden it away at the bottom of one of the pages. I guess they were short of material. Can't see any other reason for them accepting it - to be honest.

The main reason for mentioning it is that I posted it on here a long long time ago (before the crash) and got lots of feedback on the original draft. It would have been a completely unpublishable poem without comments from Dave Cryer, Anlaas, Lyn and Poppy (anyone else remember Poppy?). So I just wanted to say thanks.
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Val Bonney
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Joined: 10 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 11:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Congratulations, Caroline - and I think it's a super poem! Cool
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Alan
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Joined: 16 Dec 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 3:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked Nice One Caroline.

Lovely poem.
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DonnaG
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Joined: 06 Jul 2005
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Location: dancing on the head of a pin

PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 3:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well done, Caroline!
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Janie
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Joined: 28 Jan 2006
Posts: 373

PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well done Caroline! Think you are being too modest though 'just to fill a space indeed!!???'...I'm sure there were hundreds of poems to choose from but they chose yours. They chose yours for a reason...because it was better than all the others they could have used. Wink
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Helen



Joined: 15 Dec 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 7:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well done, Caroline. Cool
I'd like to echo Janie's sentiments.
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Helen
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Caroline
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 9:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You are all being far too nice. Wink

I was feeling abivalent about mentioning this poem. Perhaps if I do a crit of it you will see what I mean.

This, folks, is poetry as candyfloss. Itís fluffy, itís trying to be pretty. If you were in the right mood you might describe it as lovely butÖ.

It was written by someone who was in love with the sound of her own poetic voice so a lot of it is done for effect Ė all the guff about Ďoceans of starsí and ĎSky awash with sparkleí.

What is the poem about? Star-gazing.

Does it have anything original, fresh or interesting to tell us about this? Nope.

Is it grounded in the realities of an astronomerís life. Again, no, the poet hasnít done her research. All we learn is that itís

poem wrote:
a precise art



and that it

poem wrote:


requiring concentration in the dark.


You just told us that in the line above didnít you? And astronomers work all night and sleep during the day. That is as revelatory as it gets.


The ending is so trite it makes me want to weep.

poem wrote:
dawn
Breaks pink in the East
You donít say.

This poem is like an insipid watercolour. It has no depth and no humanity.

And in a monthís time none of you will remember that you have read it.
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Janie
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Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 11, 2006 11:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oi! I happen to like fluffy poetry! Shocked
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Helen



Joined: 15 Dec 2004
Posts: 2820
Location: In transit

PostPosted: Sun Mar 12, 2006 12:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Caroline, don't beat yourself up about writing a poem you feel is substandard. We all write poems we're not happy with. I feel the same way about my poem 'August', which I posted on TWI a while ago.

Writing something you're not happy with can be a valuable learning experience. If you can explain why you're not happy with a particular poem you've written, you are clarifying what does and doesn't work for you personally as a reader of poetry, which then allows you to develop your own authentic voice as a writer.

Reading that last paragraph back to myself, I sound a bit pretentious Rolling Eyes but hopefully you know what I'm trying to say.
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