The Write Idea

PaulH · Joined: 13 May 2008 Posts: 83

Unbelievably it's written by the same people who did Life on Mars! I can only think that some crackpot bunch of script editors at the BBC got hold of it and mangled it to death before filming.

DavyAbram · Guest

Reassuringly, last night's episode maintained the pleasingly low standards set by previous programmes. Self-conscious nudge-nudge, wink-wink acting, lumbering plot twists and chunks of dopey dialogue continue to come at the viewer so fast that it's difficult to keep up. It's like a comedian delivering gag after gag until your sides hurt, except that with Bonekickers the pain is actually caused by your critical faculties tearing themselves free from the rest of your psyche and making a run for it.

It’s educational, though. Last night I learnt that:

- Even after being incinerated and buried for ninety years, skeletal humans remains will retain a small patch of skin in exactly the right place to preserve a “significant” tattoo.

- If you shoot someone in the head at close range with a service revolver the bullet will make a neat, perfectly round entry hole like those you find in bowling balls. There will be no fracturing of the skull, nor will there be an exit wound.

- Despite the aforementioned incineration and lengthy burial, ancient books will survive intact and in secondhand bookshop condition so long as they are in a special metal box designed for holding carrier pigeons.

There’s more, of course, but who cares? Anyway, it’s still in a class of its own in terms of terrible TV, and the worst programme on television, perhaps ever.

Deira · Joined: 02 Aug 2008 Posts: 19 Location: Eforwic

I watch to see which group they are going to offend next. This week it was:

The French
The Germans
Librarians
Archivists

Which is adding to an already long list, of which the archaeological profession as a whole is at the top.

And we've still got the ruddy Excalibur cliche to come ... Rolling Eyes

Still can't believe this is from the writers of Life on Mars
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Tapes · Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Posts: 413 Location: Formby

I think the next group they're going to offend is the viewers.
But I'll be there watching!
Following on from Davy's dissection of the, ahem, finer points of last night's offering I was wondering which branch of the MOD trains it's operatives to vanish as effectively as the guy last night despite being burdened by the charred bones of Joan of Arc.
Beat that Derren Brown!

flirtybee · Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 5:17 am Post subject:

I'm so, so almost sorry I can't watch at least one episode.

Think there will be a second series?

Will they sell the first series to the export market?

Will the cast indulge in excavating the Oracle of Aal to find out?
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Dave Cryer · Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:37 am Post subject:

I have watched two episodes of Arsekickers. It was a sort of LSD Scooby Doo. Until you lot started talking about it, I thought I'd dreamt it.
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DavyAbram · Guest

Tapes · Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Posts: 413 Location: Formby

Don't worry Flirty...this has got DVD cult written all over it.
At least I think I mean cult.

JonP · Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 4:49 pm Post subject:

If they bring this out on DVD, though, can The Borgias be far behind? That's what I want to know.
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Tapes · Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Posts: 413 Location: Formby

Ah lets all doff our caps to the master that was Adolfo Celli! never has a script been so mangled!

Tapes · Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Posts: 413 Location: Formby

Well, it's over and did the final episode let us down?
By Jiminy it did not!
Don't mess with me I'm an archaeologist!
Priceless.
I had a little bet with my son that Maggie Mugwump or whatever her name is would surge from the waters bearing Excalibur or I'd eat my own foot. My feet are intact.
Do you think the actors knew they were in tosh? did that inform their performances?
I'm going to miss it terribly.

Satis · Joined: 31 May 2008 Posts: 685 Location: North London

I watched it all the way through for the first time.

I'm -- almost -- speechless.

The plot, acting and dialogue would have disgraced a comic book.

Wow!

JonP · Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:16 pm Post subject:

Yup, that was a fitting finale. So much to admire there. Has it been recommissioned yet?
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dibley · Joined: 21 Oct 2006 Posts: 1538

I caught a few minutes of this tonight, what total rubbish!

FatMonica · Joined: 24 Jan 2005 Posts: 1327

Bugger!

It's over and I never got to see it.

I shall trawl digital TV for repeats!
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