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Grahame Jones

Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 3430 Location: London
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Posted: Thu Feb 06, 2014 11:52 am Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of |
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Thewobblydickle Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster

Joined: 17 Dec 2004 Posts: 3242 Location: Derby
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Posted: Tue Feb 11, 2014 4:32 pm Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather |
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Grahame Jones

Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 3430 Location: London
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Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:00 am Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed |
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Thewobblydickle Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster

Joined: 17 Dec 2004 Posts: 3242 Location: Derby
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Posted: Thu Feb 13, 2014 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper |
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Grahame Jones

Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 3430 Location: London
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Posted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 8:54 am Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper adjusted her cordwangle |
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Thewobblydickle Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster

Joined: 17 Dec 2004 Posts: 3242 Location: Derby
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Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 3:37 pm Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper adjusted her cordwangle according to tradition |
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Grahame Jones

Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 3430 Location: London
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Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper adjusted her cordwangle according to tradition, with the knot |
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Thewobblydickle Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster

Joined: 17 Dec 2004 Posts: 3242 Location: Derby
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Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 9:16 am Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper adjusted her cordwangle according to tradition, with the knot (Granny, not Reef) |
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Grahame Jones

Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 3430 Location: London
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Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 9:43 am Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper adjusted her cordwangle according to tradition, with the knot (Granny, not Reef) hanging slightly north-north-west |
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Thewobblydickle Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster

Joined: 17 Dec 2004 Posts: 3242 Location: Derby
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Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 12:40 pm Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper adjusted her cordwangle according to tradition, with the knot (Granny, not Reef) hanging slightly north-north-west, thus demonstrating her |
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Grahame Jones

Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 3430 Location: London
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Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper adjusted her cordwangle according to tradition, with the knot (Granny, not Reef) hanging slightly north-north-west, thus demonstrating her availabilty for the |
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Thewobblydickle Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster

Joined: 17 Dec 2004 Posts: 3242 Location: Derby
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Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2014 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper adjusted her cordwangle according to tradition, with the knot (Granny, not Reef) hanging slightly north-north-west, thus demonstrating her availabilty for the Argentine tango competition. |
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Grahame Jones

Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 3430 Location: London
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Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2014 8:39 am Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper adjusted her cordwangle according to tradition, with the knot (Granny, not Reef) hanging slightly north-north-west, thus demonstrating her availabilty for the Argentine tango competition. With that, she |
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 |
Thewobblydickle Celery Winner 2005 & TWIt Booster

Joined: 17 Dec 2004 Posts: 3242 Location: Derby
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Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2014 9:43 pm Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper adjusted her cordwangle according to tradition, with the knot (Granny, not Reef) hanging slightly north-north-west, thus demonstrating her availabilty for the Argentine tango competition. With that, she downed enough scrumpy |
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Grahame Jones

Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 3430 Location: London
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Posted: Mon Mar 03, 2014 8:55 am Post subject: |
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CHAPTER 4
Dusting themselves off, they sensed a difference in atmosphere in Chapter 4; a sense of wonderment that everything was more real than the surreal surroundings they'd even anticipated! Being a parallel universe offered limitless opportunities. In this particular instance, they couldn't help noticing the feelings of optimism among the members of the team. Indeed, Badders and Baardlark both smiled at themselves- a sure sign that trouble was around the path's bend.
In a world where everyone is ruled by bears, King Ursa Major; (John's distant relation) the star of "Yogi, Special Agent," knows cartoon characters are good draws and believes invitations grow on trees (of course he loves a good gate crashing party!)
The invitation read: "You are warmly invited to come and witness the Nudist Leap-Frog Precision Jump Team (Over Eighties Division) perform their annual, "Come as you would never dare formation twist and whooshing air!" "See Hugh G. Rexion's personal journal entry about cordwangling in the daylight hours, when it was a dangerous trick to reveal the future of yesteryear."
-Everard Ishinubs, Head.
Their excitement was twofold: firstly- Ishinubs announced his intention to unveil his most recent invention; a round dice to be used in the dark for the game of Viagra Quoits, the most popular televised sport since the Trojan Wars. Secondly, an audition for those who practise underwater show-jumping on white horses with snorkels.
"Wow, sign me up!" said Badders, "that's his dream of parallel tv fame, an agua cabellero celebrity programme with Bob Barker as the trampolining tosser of the neon lit quantity surveyors!"
On the agenda for the audition were acrobatics, spelling, egg-timing and speedo design skills. Of course, Badders said, "Me, first!" "I'm game for whatever you've got!"
"What about Torquemada?" said Baardlark. "Shouldn't he be dressed in a snakeskin, pin-striped quoits suit and alligator shoes?"
"With my allergies, I should never wear pin-stripes but in honor of the presence of the most famous trampolining tosser of neon lits," said Torquemada, "but sacrifice is the Jasphoupian way- I shall honor him accordingly."
"So: let's change our clothes to blend in with the scenery, ignore the notice, 'No Nudity Allowed,' pick up the nasty used condoms, unroll your yoga mats and assume crash positions."
The sun and moon refuse to fight, despite Neptune's insistent bent pronged trident being waggled at a large mauve piece of glass bearing a picture of frolicsome Muses. It was strange, it was misanthropic sound of the Eighties once again, Eighties once again.
'Please, noooooo!' cried the little brown whotsit.
'Why not?"
"When I used self-help manuals, the Muses suggested that I should stuff a long, slender, greased trident with Malteser garnish and truffle oil, get the sniper - '
'Not the sniper!'
'Yes, THE sniper!'
Tourquemada's eyes widened; he had sat on the sniper's Procedures Manual which combusted immediately because of the roll that rocked the back pocket of Baardlark's tight leather, old-fashioned, polka-dotted, bell-bottomed loincloth.
The sniper adjusted her cordwangle according to tradition, with the knot (Granny, not Reef) hanging slightly north-north-west, thus demonstrating her availabilty for the Argentine tango competition. With that, she downed enough scrumpy to affect the |
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